Small Group Toolbox: Talkers & Listeners
In the “Toolbox” series of blog posts, we’ll answer some of the most common questions about leading Small Groups. If you have questions you’d like answered, drop us a message!
1. What should I do when one person in our small group dominates the discussion?
During a group meeting, when a talkative person gives an answer, you can summarize their response to the group and then say, “Does anyone else have thoughts on this?” This trains the talkative ones to summarize their answers and also invites others to speak.
If someone is consistently dominating group discussions, having a private conversation with them is helpful. You can say something like, “In this Bible Study we want every person to share. I’m thankful you love to contribute and are confident in sharing! Sometimes, others who are shy or introverted need more time to process their thoughts and aren’t willing to share if someone else talks. Could you help me get more participation from the whole group? Next time there is a question, could you wait a bit to give your answer, perhaps until after someone else shares? This would help us lead the whole group to participate more.”
2. How do I help those who are shy or introverted participate more in the discussion?
First, it’s good to remember that we should become more comfortable with silence. When there is silence, the introverted thinkers in the room are able to process the questions and formulate what they want to say. When we communicate that we are comfortable with silence, we are making space for those who process internally.
Another helpful strategy is to give the shy ones a way to facilitate the group discussion themselves. Having a Bible Study based on simple, repeatable questions that can be asked by anyone allows even the shy ones to “lead” the group, since they can be the ones asking the questions.
Finally, it is helpful to let the quiet ones know that you will eventually call on them to share. While they may not participate as much in the first couple of meetings, let them know (privately) that you value their voice and would love for them to share next time. This will help them prepare to share – particularly once they get used to the standard questions that are being asked. As long as time is given for them to process and formulate answers during the discussion, they will, in fact, appreciate the consideration of you calling on them. It communicates that you value their contribution. This also trains the verbal processors how to facilitate their own small group in the future, with consideration for internal processors.
